a lesson in bartering

How to buy a skype headset in New York.

1. Don't go to Time Square to buy it.

Now this seems obvious, I'll admit- but its trickier than you think. The moment you're surrounded by Times Square is, i promise you, the moment you decide to do something like buy a computer headset. Or marry someone. Or rip all your clothes off, start crying and then burst into flames It's just so electric and move-y and big and flashy flash flash and women in tiny items-y and COKE and 'CHICAGO- 'I'D KILL A CHILD TO SEE IT AGAIN'- says the new york times and brilliant and BUY BUY BUY and just, really really big, that something in your brain goes 'nneeerrrrrggghhh OH MY GOD I HAVE TO BUY SOMETHING NOW AND IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING THAT CAN GO 'BEEP'.'
Trust me. You would have done it too.
So I run into the nearest electronics shop and shout at a man 'ME! NOW! YES! YES!!!'
In terms of my ideal pyschadellic USA buying haze, he's slightly more Russian than I would have liked, but still, I'm not going to ruin the moment with technicalities. However, he does.
'Yes. I have. Is 80 dollars. Good price.'
Now. As much as I would have liked to have gone 'ahahaha YES my good man. And here's a little extra for young Heimlich (or a name that is actually Russian. Or, in fact a name)', I can't help but think that 80 dollars is a lot for what is essentially, some plastic, some high tech-ness that can clutter up Lynchy's blog rather than mine and well, a cover.
'80 dollars? that seems like a lot.'
'no no. is good price. Logitech. good name'
The haze is dispersing now, and I feel a bit like a drunken man who has hired a prostitute and in the sobering light of about 3am has no idea what to do with her.
'yes... yes it is a.. erm.. no, i think i'll just...'
'Ok. 30 dollars.'
'30? ahahaha... well.. thats erm, thats a big price jump.'
'yes. Well you have good smile yes? hahaha.'
'ahahaha. haha. ha. yeah.... yeah....... ok... I think i'm gonna go.'
And I leave, feeling like the MASSIVE glowing poster of a man dressed as Donkey in 'Shrek! The Musical!- 'I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING ABOUT SEVEN HEART ATTACK IN A ROW IT WAS SO GOOD'-the NY journal; is looking down on me in disappointment and disgust. Though to be honest, who is he to judge me?