On a lighter (but more massive) note

Two posts in one day?! You lucky little spaniels.

This isn't really a proper post, please try not to weep heavily onto your mousemat, this is just a little extra to explain the picture currently at the side.

I needed to buy some pants because, quite simply, I have run out of pants. I went to the scariest shop in the world called 'Target'- to those who know it, Jesus Christ what the hell is with target? Its where the soulless go to wear red tshirts and die.

Anyway. I was in a hurry, I needed pants, and so I grabbed a pack of six under a sign that said 'small'- I'm not being vain here, this is America remember. And I bring them home in just the (k)nick(ers) of time. I am literally pant free. Whew.

So the next morning I wake up, unroll a jazzy striped number, and oh. my. god. I have accidently picked up the BIGGEST PANTS EVER. Full of panic and confusion I look at the label, and it looks back at me happily, with a little '9', under 'size'. Now. I don't know American sizing. But judging by these pants I can only assume that they are designed and labelled according to which animal in the world could comfortably wear them, on a scale from one to ten. one being smallish possum, ten being a rhinoceros. And i had racked up a 9. You can think of your own example, I'm sure.

The problem is though, I HAVE NO OTHER PANTS to wear. I'm not spending more bloody money on pants, and I certainly dont have enough other washing to commit to a 'laudromat' visit yet, (meaning 'I am too scared to go as I think I might die there'). So what can I do? I think you know what I do. I wear them of course. I wear the pregnant wildebeest pants and I can tell you one thing. They are breezy. Not in a particularly bad way, just in a.. I'm not sure there should be wind in that area, kind of way. Still. I've got 5 more days to get used to it I suppose.
And with that lovely mental image, I bid you goodnight. Hopefully now a few of you will join me in the nightmares.