things wrong with my life (mainly aural)

Ohhhh my lord I have been so tired today. My living situation, though relatively clean (Adrian more or less picks up after himself) is not exactly ideal. Its one of those things where the more I find out, the less I want to know. yawwwwwwnnn dammit outside world, WHY are you so gosh darn noisy??

There are several problems with the place that I am living presently. Almost all of them are to do with the outside world and all of them are to do with noise. These are the noises my skillful sleep talent (which, to be fair, is pretty finely honed) has to deal with on a daily and nightly basis
1) What I can only fathom to be an 'Owl and son's old fashioned nice n slow drilling company', as they only begin drilling in the late evening, and can carry on..ohhh i don't know... for hours and hours, with only a short break at about midnight where they go on the search for small voles allowing me to swiftly whack myself with a brick and render myself unconscious.
2) A 24 hour icecream van. Very helpful for stoners with the 4am munchies. Not so helpful to ALL OTHER HUMANS. and it only has one tune. oh god that tune. that tune that is seared into my very nerves. it goes like this- 'ner ner NER NEEER na na NEEER nEEER, na na NER NER NER NER NEEERRRR ner. NA na NER NER, NA NA ner ner, NER ner, NER NER ner, NER NERRRRR.' if you think its annoying now, try imagining it not silent. over and over again. Over and over and over again.
3) My apartment- and in particular, my bedroom window- looks out on, if you can believe it, a school playground. Oh yes, thats right. Round about 8am the little scamps romp about, screaming, wailing, stabbing (i assume) and re-stabbing. Luckily the teacher is on hand to shout at them all very loudly to be quiet a lot, so that keeps things nice and ordered.
4) The drilling. i know I've mentioned it already but it is particularly bad this evening so I thought I'd mention it again, because they certainly will.
5) Oh and car alarms and police cars and fire engines and people fighting and outside traffic- but in comparison to the above, this noise could be one of those setting on an alarm clock for a quiet and peaceful awakening, like 'ocean breezes', or 'frog song'.
6) So thats it for the outside pursuits. In terms of the inside, dammit, I feel guilty for saying it but Adrian, you are still a chatter, and you know it. He tries to keep it from about 8pm-11pm, but sometimes he forgets, the wee tyke, so I lovingly throw a shoe at the wall (as has become or custom) to let him know its time for bedsies.
7) Ok this one was a one off, but it was last night and didn't help me with my sleeping situation. The couple I live with, Sarah and Sam, i think have been having some rough times recently, and last night Sam (who I really really don't know at ALL) took to storming off into the bathroom and weeping very loudly and snottily. My bedroom is right next to the bathroom. Its not that I wasn't sympathetic, but, I thought, would you be any less miserable outside on the streets? Perhaps a bit of drilling might cheer you up? Get an icecream perhaps? Of course I didn't do any of that, what I actually did was so horribly British I'm almost ashamed to say it, but I knocked quietly on the door of the bathroom very awkwardly (no one likes to hear a girl cry all lonely like,) and said 'errm.. Sam?.. would you... would you like a cup of tea?' No really. really. I went there. I was Hugh Grant, and I'd just spilled orange juice all over Julia Roberts. She sniffed, surprised and embarrassed and said 'uh, no, thats alright.'
I hung very awkwardly around the door, and, before I scuttled away whispered 'ok, well, I always find it helps in any situation, I'm around for a bit if you change your mind,' and I Englished off to my room, with a strange mix of relief, embarrassment and sadness that I'd been tea rejected by a crying lesbian in a crisis. She seemed to be alright after that, no more weeping, probably went back to her room and told Sarah how 2 dimensional my personality actually is, they had a good laugh and all was forgiven. Still. Always nice to help.

Had ANOTHER terrible 'meeting with the other kind' i like to call the americans that just cannot and will never get me. I was out for a drink with my friend Justin- one who actually does, thank GOD otherwise I would just spew the crazy on the subway or something. which, actually, wouldnt look out of place at all. Anyway, he invited me for a drink, and introduced me to his 'work friends' (always a slightly dodgy sitation I have found.) One of them had a shirt on of SO MUCH PURE WHITE that I was compelled to day, straight off the bat 'Hi, I'm Tash, and I have to say, that shirt really amazingly white. well done you!' for some reason, he wasn't that up for a 'Daz challenge' conversation, and immediatly, after a quick look at Justin as if to say 'really?' turned away. Undeterred, hey there was still three of them left! I turned to the next one, said hello and shook hands. After witnessing the shirt analysis he seemed a little wary, but I carefully steered away from any physical commentary whilst looking at him, which seemed to work for the best. However, he then turned to Justin, and started to talk about the fact that he's just found out about a blockbuster 'Sherlock Holmes' Movie going into production, starring Jude Law and someone else, who he couldnt remember. My ears pricked up. The idea of Sherlock Holmes action flick is, for me rife, positively RIFE with comic potential, and grinning madly, I eagerly joined in the coversation
'An action flick Sherlock Holmes? As in 'Watson you asshole, shoot first, ask questions later bitch?' I then mimed, MIMED, picking up a machine gun and firing at a squad of oncoming pillow thieves or similar.
silence. Justin, bless him, laughed. Work man, looked at me as if i was ACTUALLY insane. I hoped he didnt think I was planning to turn my mime into a reality. Thats not really what i do.
He turned, if possible, even MORE to Justin, and said 'oh yeah, i remember now, they want Jonny Depp to play Sherlock Holmes.'
I could have kept quiet. But then, i never do, do i?
'Jonny Depp?' I squarked, 'The man with the world's most cavernous cheekbones? He's be great, he could store clues in his very face!'
oh the silence. oh the horrible silence.
This man, honestly, must have have realised at that moment what his own personal hell was. And it was having conversations about the comic potential of films. With me.Forever.
But to be honest, I've had the silence after I've asked someone if they've raped my nan. This, frankly, was nothing. I was going nowhere. 'ha, I can just imagine the trailer *puts on deep american voice* THIS SUMMER, the slippers are coming off and the kettle is on. cut to holmes 'sherlock you mad bastard, just put the pipe down man! PUT IT DOWN! *explosion noise fading to silence*'
Nothing. Maybe he was secretly fuming all along because I didn't tell him he had a clean shirt, and his rebuffing my attempts at humour were a way on punishing me. Bastard. Oh well. When that film comes out and he realises they all talk like me he's going to be REALLY upset. And I wont care. As long as he doesnt weep about it in our bathroom, I'll be sleeping like an angel.